How we fit together

Celebrating 18 years of marriage with Human Design

Hi! I’m Kelsey. 🤸🏽‍♀️ I’m a Certified Professional Coach and Human Design Guide. My intention for this publication is to help you remember who you really are so you can experience a joyful, easeful, abundant and wicked-fun life. I offer Private Coaching and Human Design Play Sessions. You can book a Private Coaching Session with me here and you can book a Human Design Play Session here.

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Human Design is known as “the science of differentiation.” It’s a celebration of how wonderfully unique we all are. We are all designed to own and share our uniqueness and to celebrate others as they do the same.

None of us is designed to do life alone. We fit together like puzzle pieces and TOGETHER we rise.

What better place to see and celebrate our differences than in a romantic partnership? Pete and I got married 18 years ago today and I thought it would be fun to celebrate by sharing 18 ways our Human Design shows us how we are designed to do life differently and similarly.

1. We’re both multi-passionate Manifesting Generators. We bip and bop throughout our days doing a million different things, flowing easefully in different directions. We’ve lived together in Hawaii, Montreal, Barbados, North Carolina, Washington DC, Oregon, Maine, all over the U.S. as we traveled in a camper for 16 months and now Florida.

2. We both have emotional authority, which means we both have emotional waves. Pete’s waves come out of the blue and his highs are higher than mine and his lows are lower than mine. My waves are more subtle and are related to connection. Understanding each other’s emotional waves and knowing how to support each other through the lows has been amazing for our relationship.

3. Pete is great with small talk. I’m not. I’m here to talk to people about their deepest desires—and I do, and doing so enables me to make deep friendships really quickly.

4. Pete is prone to physical exhaustion. I’m prone to mental exhaustion. Sometimes I just need to stare at the ceiling for a bit and sometimes he just needs to sit down.

5. Pete is a pro at all the logical things like filling out forms. I have zero logic gifts in my chart and filling out forms often makes me feel like I’m going to cry. Now that we understand that, he’s a super hero who swoops in and saves me from the stuff that causes me suffering.

6. Pete needs alone time. I do too, but I also need all the quality time with my people. Learning that his need for alone time has nothing to do with me was such a gift for my 4/6 heart.

7. Pete is designed to hone his opinions and perspectives. I’m not. I’m designed to see all 800 sides of a situation.

8. Pete loves to talk things through (you could call this “debate”). It energizes him. It exhausts me. One time, while we were walking, I asked him, “Is SCUBA diving a sport?” I let him debate the answer out loud on his own while I enjoyed the walk.

9. I am great at starting things. Pete is great at finishing things. We make a great team.

That's my Human Design chart on the left and Pete's chart on the right.

10. Pete has the gift of grace and charm. I have a penetrating energy that can feel a little intense to people. When we need to schmooz, Pete’s the guy.

11. I have the gift of embodiment—of loving my physical body. I really care about what goes into my body and love finding out what my body can do. Pete doesn’t have this gift. That doesn’t mean that he’s not interested in health. It just means that he doesn’t have the same deep connection with his physical body that I do.

12. Pete has the gift of managing resources. He’s a great grocery shopper. Grocery shopping makes me tired.

13. I have strong, consistent motivation. Pete’s motivation comes in waves. Once, when the planets had moved to give him temporary strong motivation, he asked me, “is this how you feel all the time?” “Yup,” I said. “Then why don’t you do all the things all the time?” he asked. “Because I don’t want to,” I said. 🤯 His mind was a little bit blown.

14. Pete has what I lovingly call a “Velcro butt.” I have more of a squirmy butt. I need to move pretty much all the time. Pete can sit in one spot for hours.

15. I’m constantly amused by the different things that trigger us. Inefficiency is a big trigger for Pete. When we were on our road trip last week, a stretch of 95 was closed for an event. It didn’t phase me—there was nothing we could do about it—but Pete was angry. Meanwhile, someone had scheduled a meeting with him for this morning and canceled at the last minute. He was fine with it, but I felt 😡 on his behalf. Note: This is why I’m not available for morning meetings. Mornings are my sacred time.

16. Pete has the gift of sharing random facts with passion. You should feel him talk about air source heat pumps. It’s not about the topic, it’s about the energy, and his energy is delicious. Meanwhile, I have the gift of deep listening. People tell me their life stories and I listen with my whole being, not my head.

17. I can feel mental pressure. It feels like too many things are swirling in my head. Pete can feel root pressure. It feels like he has to do all the things right now. Acting from pressure is out of alignment for both of us (and for all humans). We try our best to support each other through these pressure moments. Pete has solid mental clarity that feels super supportive to me when I’m swirling. And I do my best to use my grounded energy to remind Pete that he doesn’t have to do it all right now.

18. We both come from a marine biology background and love the ocean, but Pete’s love of the ocean is different than mine. He has “natural shores” environment and feels vibrant on the shore of the ocean or a lake. Meanwhile I love mixing it up with people amongst tall trees, in the safety of my “blended caves” environment.

Here’s to choosing to love someone!

And I love YOU (…in a different way than I love my husband 😉).

Love,

Kelsey

Oh and P.S. our next Community Coaching Call is tomorrow (September 24) at 4pm Eastern. This call is free for all VIPs and paid community members. To upgrade your membership, click here and choose the option that lights you up.